My mother died about a year and a half ago. Quickly, unexpectedly, young.
She left behind her parents, who moved close to her about ten years ago, so she could help take care of them, when needed. And then she died. My grandfather had five children, two he didn't raise. Of the three children with my grandmother, only one is left and he did the opposite of stepping up to care for his parents. So, now my sister and I have stepped into that role.
I've heard the term "sandwich generation" and I guess we are that now; caring for our children at home and then coordinating elder care...we just seemed to have skipped a generation somewhere...it's a bit topsy-turvy/ timey-whiney.....
this journey has taken up most of my time and thought lately, and so I'd like to write about it, because that is what I like to do- write it all out. The process and timing has all been a little tricky, though- there is always the question of timing and over-sharing to consider.
I thought I would start by sharing some helpful links to resources that have been helpful to me on this journey:
Elder-Care Resources
- agingcare.com -The Hidden Costs of Assisted Living
- Alzheimer's Prevention Initiative @ Still Blond after all these years.com
- A Place For Mom -help finding quality assisted living facilities
- Alz.org -National Alzheimer's Association. You can talk to someone on the phone, sometimes it just helps to talk to someone.
We've had a lot of tears, a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of driving.
The three most helpful things to me in this journey have been
#1 Prayer and a faith to lean on
My Grandfather's Primary Care Doctor (who has been both the most helpful and the most unhelpful at times)
Hiring an elder-law attorney local to my grandparents, who does this all the time.